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Audio/Video Witchcraft
Most of my family, friends and acquaintances know what I do for a living - I put computer controlled audio / video systems into special venue installations...Museums, Theme Parks, Theaters, Churches...you get it. Most people who know what I do and have watched me work have commented that I've been given a special gift and a talent for this kind of work. I don't mind bragging a little and accepting that I'm very good at what I do...but I don't know everything. Keep reading.
What people don't know is that in all electronic installations, there are unexplained reasons why things work and why things don't work. In the recent movie (and book) I Robot, one of the characters describes these problems as "Ghosts in the Machine" and even "Bugs." They didn't teach this in Engineering school, but I've long since known that electrons flowing through wires (and especially silicon) obey rules and laws that are higher than what we as designers know and understand. Programming is simply a method of attempting to harness the rules and laws that we do know, to make the electrons do what we desire at the time we desire it to happen. Most of the time we are successful in this, but often it gets out of hand; sometimes with terrible results. See Jurassic Park, I Robot, 2001 A Space Odyssey or any list of movies and books describing similar events.
Recently I was describing some of these unknown interactions to the department head with the responsibility for maintaining my most recent installation. This was at the National Museum of the American Indian, Smithsonian's latest and greatest museum in Washington, DC. (I highly recommend a visit if you are ever in the DC area.)
This department head and I were commenting that every time I left the building for more than two days, something in the system broke or mysteriously quit working. Usually these broken things were easily fixed and regained operation, but it was an annoying habit that the system had developed.
It's important for you to understand that just before opening there were many prayers, dances, incantations, closed-door meetings and even questionable smoking material (you know what I'm talking about) in exhibit spaces by the various tribes of Indians represented. What hadn't happened, however, was the ritual blood-letting that is popular in the AV industry for installations containing a control system. Usually this involves a chicken, blood on the racks and a short ceremony. In jest, I mentioned this to the manager and he laughed and told me that I could perform the procedure on my upcoming visit in January. I agreed and he said that he would provide the resources to perform the work. We laughed about this and then changed the subject.
A few weeks after this conversation, I arrived for the final trip on the job. I went to the closet that served as my site office in the basement and I was greeted by two extra room mates....(right.)
Every day that I came in, my new friends were in different positions and locations around the room (below. )
I found that my one of them (below) had some strange tastes but in general, we got along
great.
What people don't know is that in all electronic installations, there are unexplained reasons why things work and why things don't work. In the recent movie (and book) I Robot, one of the characters describes these problems as "Ghosts in the Machine" and even "Bugs." They didn't teach this in Engineering school, but I've long since known that electrons flowing through wires (and especially silicon) obey rules and laws that are higher than what we as designers know and understand. Programming is simply a method of attempting to harness the rules and laws that we do know, to make the electrons do what we desire at the time we desire it to happen. Most of the time we are successful in this, but often it gets out of hand; sometimes with terrible results. See Jurassic Park, I Robot, 2001 A Space Odyssey or any list of movies and books describing similar events.
Recently I was describing some of these unknown interactions to the department head with the responsibility for maintaining my most recent installation. This was at the National Museum of the American Indian, Smithsonian's latest and greatest museum in Washington, DC. (I highly recommend a visit if you are ever in the DC area.)
This department head and I were commenting that every time I left the building for more than two days, something in the system broke or mysteriously quit working. Usually these broken things were easily fixed and regained operation, but it was an annoying habit that the system had developed.
It's important for you to understand that just before opening there were many prayers, dances, incantations, closed-door meetings and even questionable smoking material (you know what I'm talking about) in exhibit spaces by the various tribes of Indians represented. What hadn't happened, however, was the ritual blood-letting that is popular in the AV industry for installations containing a control system. Usually this involves a chicken, blood on the racks and a short ceremony. In jest, I mentioned this to the manager and he laughed and told me that I could perform the procedure on my upcoming visit in January. I agreed and he said that he would provide the resources to perform the work. We laughed about this and then changed the subject.
A few weeks after this conversation, I arrived for the final trip on the job. I went to the closet that served as my site office in the basement and I was greeted by two extra room mates....(right.)
Every day that I came in, my new friends were in different positions and locations around the room (below. )I found that my one of them (below) had some strange tastes but in general, we got along
great.On my last day, I decided that it was time to perform the ritual sacrifice. Even though we had become close over the period that we had been together, it was time for the chicken's life to end. The gator who I named Rasputin, begged me to allow him to perform the ritual. He swore that he knew exactly what to do and had been practicing at night while nobody else was around (except for the chicken.) After much pleading, I let him handle the job. (I'm not going to describe the gory details because my children will read this and I don't want to scare them away from this kind of work.)
My friends now have a permanent home on the top of one of the computer racks in the Network Control Room. It's a tucked away corner of the room that you wouldn't notice unless you looked directly at them. Everyone on the staff laughed after I pointed them out and thought that they made a great addition to the work space. Eventually someone will become offended and request that they be taken down from the racks, but for now, their place in history is marked.
I left later that day and got on the flight home sure of the fact that I had done my job, taken care of the bugs and exorcised the demons. It was a rough flight with a fat man on my right and a CIA agent to my left (read that middle seat in the back of the plane filled with kids going to Disney World.)I was happy to get home and glad to sleep in my own bed again.
Within 48 hours of my departure, another video wall cube stopped working at the museum. Perhaps I shouldn't have used a rubber chicken.
Chris Hartwell